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Thursday, September 30, 2004

Vladimir & me

I wonder if Vladimir refers to Mr. Bush as "George" in his public speeches? Or better yet, "Dub" . . .

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Bush debate strategery

What he did tonight was very crafty - lowering expectations for the next debate. 'Cause no matter what he does next time, it'll be an improvement over tonight's performance.

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Bush strategery now abundantly clear

Start an unnecessary war, then claim only you are srong and resolute to complete that war.

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Sometimes it's hard to be a pres-i-dent . . .

"It's hard work to love her as best as I can."

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Huh?

"We will reform our military?"

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I know how hard it is

to blog.

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Tuesday, September 28, 2004

So that's how it got so empty


Dan Bartlett says
Mr. Bush's ranch has a "mind-clearing effect" on him.

Bush has been fishin' and workin' on his "zingers": "'I'm sure some of the best zingers he's given have been (written) out there with a fishing pole in his hands," Bartlett said."

Yes sir, good things happen when Mr. Bush takes tahm off at the ranch.

While Mr. Bush firmly and resolutely crafts his debate "zingers," Senator Kerry is probably busy working on his own.

Bush zinger: "Mah opponent has already debated both sides of the Iraq war."

Kerry zinger: "Let-me-tell-you-now that strapping on your spurs and shouting 'yee-ha' is an insufficient substitute for planning and following a measured course of action that is both bold and in the best interests of America and her people!"

NOTE: Satan contributed to this report.

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Good thing I didn't quit my day job

'Cause blogging is officially OVER. It's DEAD. If you haven't started a blog yet, too late. Don't bother. Go do something else.

What happened is, lefty blogger Billmon, who recently stalked off his own blog in a huff, wrote an opinion piece entitled "Blogging Sells, and Sells Out, " in which he appeared to dis certain bloggers:

Even as it collectively achieves celebrity status for its anti-establishment views, blogging is already being domesticated by its success. What began as a spontaneous eruption of populist creativity is on the verge of being absorbed by the media-industrial complex it claims to despise.

In the process, a charmed circle of bloggers — those glib enough and ideologically safe enough to fit within the conventional media punditocracy — is gaining larger audiences and greater influence. But the passion and energy that made blogging such a potent alternative to the corporate-owned media are in danger of being lost, or driven back to the outer fringes of the Internet.

There's ample precedent for this. America has always had a knack for absorbing, and taming, its cultural revolutionaries. The rise and long, sad fall of rock 'n' roll is probably the most egregious example, while the music industry's colonization of rap is a more recent one.

When I say blogging is headed for a kind of commercialized senility, I'm talking primarily about political blogs — those that have, or claim to have, something to say about government, economics, foreign policy, etc. Not surprisingly, these are the blogs most likely to show up on the media's radar screen.


Adding insult to injury, and throwing in a big dollop of irony, Billmon published his anti-sellout screed in the mainstream media organ, the LA Times.

Of course Billmon's article could be seen as a thinly veiled slam at yours truly. Jealous of my Blogads, corporate sponsors, and prime time televised interview at the DNC, Billmon is lashing out with the envious loser's shopworn cry of "sellout."

Other, lesser-known bloggers (see here and here )narcissistically leaped to the conclusion that Billmon was talking about them.

Steve Gilliard is offended not only on his own behalf, but on behalf of Billmon's loyal readers, who supported Billmon's site and filled his tip jar. Mr. Gilliard asks, "Don't you think that if you wanted to quit something, a little grace might be in order?" I once quit a cocktail waitress job by putting my tray down on the bar and walking out, but I still feel guilty about it. Then at this other waitress job, I was joking around one day and I wrote on a paper napkin, "This job sucks. I hate it. I quit," and one of the other waitresses (bitch) gave it to the manager, and his feelings were hurt, and I had to tell him, no, it was a joke, I LOVE this job, why would I quit? But I digress. Mr. Gilliard has a point, if you're going to quit something, your job, your marriage, your blog, whatever, you should do it with a little grace, a little style, a little professionalism. Or at least be funny about it, like this.

Mr. Gilliard also says, in the comments to his post, "If I were to stop blogging for an active life of oh, masturbation, I would at least be honest about it with you before I wrote a piece in a national newspaper." Here we part ways. I personally don't think an active life of masturbation is mutually exclusive with full time blogging, or part time blogging - sometimes I even think they're synonymous, but that's just me. What I'm saying is, if I were to stop blogging for an active life of masturbation, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

Also in the comments to Mr. Gilliard's post, one "Anonymous" proclaims, "A person who calls him/herself a blogger, yet doesn't allow comments, is a poseur and a coward." I dared Mr. Anonymous to come over here and say that to my FACE. Let's see if he has the BALLS.

Anyway . . . I hate Bush as much as the next girl, but I thought blogging was supposed to be fun. Lighten up, lefty bloggers. The righties would be laughing at you, if they weren't so busy pouting about how the recent New York Times magazine story about blogs paid more attention to the lefty blogs.



* You may notice that I recently removed Billmon's blog from my illustrious blogroll. Nothing against him, it was just that he'd stopped updating and I don't have room in my blogroll for lazy-ass bloggers who don't update, unless their name is Satan.

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Monday, September 27, 2004

Minibottles

Ha. The Daily Show just did a segment on South Carolina's ballot referendum to amend the state constitution, which now requires that bars serve liquor out of minibottles. I used to tend bar and I had fun with the minibottles. I developed flamboyant techniques for flinging them into the trash cans. Minibottles have their advantages: They make inventory easy. Yankees think they're cute and buy bunches of them to take home. And because the bottles are sealed until they're served, you don't have to worry about bar owners filling up the top shelf bottles with some house brand junk (minibottle defenders always cite that - they have little faith in the integrity of saloonkeepers, for some reason). Another pro-minibottle argument recently appeared in the letters section of The Sun News; the writer said that the pour spouts on big bottles get all gummed up and unsanitary and unhygienic and grody. I can well imagine - I was the only bartender I ever knew who bothered to clean the pour spouts of the sour mix and the OJ and the like.

But: it's impossible to mix a decent two-liquor drink with minibottles. They take all the art out of mixing drinks. Plus there's always the fear of tourists getting toasted on the unaccustomed hefty doses of liquor - the bottles contain 1.7 ounces. It's customary, at least among the people I hang around with (drunks) to order shots thusly: "One Southern Comfort kamikaze two ways." Or: "Four bullshots eight ways." etc.

It used to be that Utah and South Carolina were the only states with minibottles. Then even Utah got rid of them. South Carolina ought to, but I don't know - the pro-minibottle lobby is pretty feisty. If nothing else this referendum ought to improve the turnout of drunks who vote.

More on minibottles here


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One Simple Question

Bounty is now over $2,000.00, with a big bonus if Dumbya answers and it's televised. As IF. It's fun to think about it though.

Money goes to the DNC if the question doesn't get asked.

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Sunday, September 26, 2004

And look at him today, not a scratch on him!

Bush on Allawi:

"This good man was abed in a London flat, and he wakes up with two Saddam henchmen there with axes, trying to cut him to pieces with an axe."


You're probably thinking, Damn! Prime Minister Allawi must have the reflexes of a PANTHER! Fortunately, he had rehearsed the axe scenario with his trusty houseman Cato . . .


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Another entry in the lexicon of Dub

"Listen, the other day I was asked about the NATIONAL INTELLIGENCE ESTIMATE, which is a National Intelligence Estimate."

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By God, those terrorists are a crafty lot

QUESTION: Why haven't U.S. forces been able to capture or kill al-Zarqawi, who's blamed for much of the violence? . . .

BUSH: . . .
The first part of the question was how come we haven't found Zarqawi? We're looking for him. He hides. He's got an effective weapon and that is terror.


We can't find him because he HIDES! These people will stop at nothing!

By the way, I'm sure Mr. Bush didn't mean what he said about terror being an "effective weapon."

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Friday, September 24, 2004

There are two kinds of people in this world

Those who think you should kill people first and let God sort them out afterwards, and those who think you should sort them, then kill them.

"Kill them all. God will know his own." - Arnold, Abbot of Citeaux, 1209

"So, what you do is you win over the people you can, town by town and then you kill the people you can." - David Brooks, 9/23/04, on Iraq

(Via Atrios by way of Crooked Timber)

(Two Kinds of People)

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Thursday, September 23, 2004

Kerry Attacks Iraqi Leader*



COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) - Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry said Thursday that Iraq's Ayad Allawi was sent before Congress to put the "best face'' on Bush administration policy.

Shortly after Allawi, the interim government's prime minister, gave a rosy portrayal of progress toward peace in Iraq, Kerry said the assessment contradicted reality on the ground.

"The prime minister and the president are here obviously to put their best face on the policy, but the fact is that the CIA estimates, the reporting, the ground operations and the troops all tell a different story,'' Kerry said.

Kerry went on to say, "When I am president all the months of deceit and cruelty will reach an end. Ayad Allawi and his henchmen must leave Iraq within 48 hours. Their refusal to do so will result in military conflict, commenced at a time of our choosing. For their own safety, all foreign nationals -- including journalists and inspectors -- should leave Iraq immediately."

Kerry continued, "Many Iraqis can hear me tonight in a translated radio broadcast, and I have a message for them. If we must begin a military campaign, it will be directed against the lawless men who rule your country and not against you. As our coalition takes away their power, we will deliver the food and medicine you need. We will tear down the apparatus of terror and we will help you to build a new Iraq that is prosperous and free. In a free Iraq, there will be no more wars of aggression against your neighbors, no more poison factories, no more executions of dissidents, no more torture chambers and rape rooms. The tyrant will soon be gone. The day of your liberation is near."


*Headline courtesy of Satan

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Sadly, not a parody

Naomi Wolf:

. . . Listen to what the Republicans are hitting Kerry with: Indecisive. Effete. French. They are all but calling this tall, accomplished war hero gay.

The charges are sticking because of Teresa Heinz Kerry. Let’s start with “Heinz.” By retaining her dead husband’s name—there is no genteel way to put this—she is publicly, subliminally cuckolding Kerry with the power of another man—a dead Republican man, at that. Add to that the fact that her first husband was (as she is herself now) vastly more wealthy than her second husband. Throw into all of this her penchant for black, a color that no woman wears in the heartland, and you have a recipe for just what Kerry is struggling with now: charges of elitism, unstable family relationships, and an unmanned candidate.

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Marry me, James Carville!

How can you not love James Carville? Velociman can't stand Carville, but acknowledges Carville's ineffable coolness.

I looove James Carville. Every time I see him on TV I swoon. He's my hero.

I was in DC one time. My friend and I were standing on the sidewalk when an SUV pulled up in the lane nearest us and stopped at the light. A familiar looking man was slouched on the front passenger side, his right foot propped up on the dash. Talking a mile a minute. That bald head . . . I stared. Yes! It was James Carville!

"Look look look!" I said. "That's JAMES CARVILLE!" Then I ripped off my top and ran up to the SUV and pressed my brea - kidding. I just gawped. Then the light changed and the SUV drove away.

I think I'd love James Carville even if he were a Republican, maybe. But then he wouldn't be my hero.





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Wednesday, September 22, 2004

"I'm the guy that hugs, see?"

(Note: Click on link and scroll down to post entitled "Bernard Shaw Debate Question.")

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Diary of a Mad Househusband

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Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Post-election scenario

Andy Sullivan asks

I wonder if either candidate has pondered the benefits of actually losing this election? If Kerry wins, you can see how the Republicans would then blame all the inevitable mess in Iraq on his vacillation (even if he doesn't budge an inch), and marshall a Tet offensive argument that implies that if only Washington hadn't given up, the Blessed Leader would have seen the war to victory. Kerry wouldn't be able to win, whatever he does. And because he'd be more fiscally responsible than Bush (could anyone be less fiscally responsible?) he wouldn't have much in the way of domestic goodies to keep his base happy. But if Bush wins and heads into a real, live second Vietnam in Iraq, his party will split, the country will become even more bitterly polarized than now (especially if he's re-elected because he's not Kerry) and he'll become another end-of-career Lyndon Johnson.


The candidates gave no indication that this has occurred to either of them. But if it does cross their minds between now and Nov. 2, we could see a post-election situation that would be the mirror image of the one that followed the last election. Imagine: The election is just as close as 2000, or even closer. Several states' results are in dispute, Florida in particular . . .

Kerry: "I concede."

Bush: "Ladies and gentlemen, my opponent wanted to be president before he didn't. That sure sounds like a flip flop to me. Well, lemme tell you something. I have made up my mind to concede. And I will stay the course. I will not falter. I will not fail."

Kerry: "My friends, let me tell you, I am not going to let someone who avoided service question my commitment to conceding. And I am here to tell you, I have conceded and Mr. Bush cannot concede."

Bush: "Look . . . heh heh . . . See, lemme tell ya how this works. I'm the commander, see? And what I say goes. And I say I concede."

Kerry: "I pledge to you now that I have already conceded. Bush is president by default."

Bush: "Somebody has to make the hard decisions. And I'm that guy, the decision guy. And my decision is I concede."

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Some people are too busy to blog

Satan has been AWOL from his own blog, but he did sit down for an interview with Fafnir.

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Shorter Grover Norquist

"Die, Greatest Generation! DIE! DIE! DIE!"

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Thank Bejus George Bush is our president

Like Rudy Guiliani , I say thank God George Bush is our president. What if, God forbid, Mr. Sensitive War Kerry were our president right now? Why, those bastard terrorists would think they could kidnap and behead hostages with impunity. But one thing they know about George Bush: He means business. He is full of steadfast resolve. His steely demeanor alone must deter countless beheadings. I can't even begin to imagine how many Internet beheadings we would be forced to endure if Mr. Looks French were our president.

Btw, don't expect the mainstream media to ever tell you about all the beheadings that don't happen every day in Iraq. That wouldn't fit their agenda.

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Thursday, September 16, 2004

It's a beautiful day, isn't it, President Nixon?

The incomparable Daily Howler this week incomparably addresses the press's credulity when dealing with witnesses who have suspiciously detailed recollection about 30-year-old events. The Howler is right: The press is all too eager to believe people who show up out of nowhere with a story that supports whatever "pleasing narrative" is au courant. Real reporters ought to be a little skeptical about such people. But I must respectfully take issue with the Howler's assertion today about not-so-swift-boater John O'Neill:

John O’Neill also lacked a track record when he showed up with attacks on John Kerry.


John O'Kerry damn sure did have a track record: As a Nixon toady and Kerry-basher. The problem with O'Neill wasn't that the press believed someone without a track record - it was that the press, at least in the initial days of the swift boat smear campaign, failed to point out O'Neill's long track record of Kerry leg-humping.

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New to the illustrious Rogue Planet blogroll

Diary of an Intergalactic Tour Guide. I hope this being links to me - I've been wanting to expand my readership, which is now merely global, to the universe.

Also, check out Geor3ge, who just moved to South Carolina, making the state a teeny bit less red. Welcome, Geor3ge!

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Krugman

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Tuesday, September 14, 2004

It's fun to hate trial lawyers

Until you need one (actually, I suspect people who need trial lawyers hate them even more than people who don't).

Jesse at Pandagon comments on an LA Times story about the insurance industry's campaign against trial lawyers. The GOP has been relentlessly hammering trial lawyers for a while, blaming them for lost jobs, higher health care costs, the deficit, and terrorism. OK, maybe not the last two, yet . . .

Federal tort "reform" seems to me to be a significant intrusion of the federal government into an area traditionally reserved to the states - tort law - but Bush has stopped pretending to care about states' rights since being elected. Besides, it's just politically correct to belittle, insult, and blame trial lawyers. However, I am informed and believe that doctors themselves sometimes engage the services of dreaded trial lawyers.

A while back (a little over a year ago) a jury awarded the largest jury verdict in the history of Georgetown County, South Carolina. Two-plus million dollars. The plaintiffs were a doctor, a local obstetrician/gynecologist, and her husband. The defendant against whom the verdict was rendered was one of the major household termite extermination companies; the doctor and her husband alleged serious damage to their multi-million dollar home in Debordieu Colony as a result of the termite company's failure to find or treat a termite infestation.

So, the doctor and her husband hired a trial lawyer. And they sued the termite company. And won a couple million dollars.

If the termite company's negligence cost the doctor and her husband a couple of million dollars in damages, then I say, more power to'em. I'm glad they were able to find themselves a competent attorney who could help them recover some of their losses.

I thought about this verdict later on when I saw a sizable ad in the local newspaper, taken out by this doctor's practice group, urging people to write their state legislators and urge them to adopt liability caps. For doctors. Not for termite extermination companies.




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Blogger permalinks

Is it just me, or are they not actual permalinks? What good is a "permalink" to a post that takes you to an entire month's worth of posts?

Damn it . . .

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I don't know who this chick is

but I'm her fan. It's not often that a letter to the editor of The Sun News makes me laugh out loud. Here in its entirety is this local chick's letter to the editor of The Sun News:

On Sept. 1, I read [the news story] about a widespread [Horry County Police] raid that occurred in some of the adult clubs along the Strand. The effort resulted in the righteous booking of several dancers whose pasties were "too sheer" to meet the requirements of the law.

I often find myself offended by the mere thought that someone might be naked within five miles of my home - or worse, that somebody might be more naked than somebody else. Still, I have a few academic questions to pose to the lawmakers and enforcers of Myrtle Beach.

First, what is the purpose of an adult nightclub? Perhaps I can field this one for you myself. I had to ask my mommy and daddy about it, but they explained, and I think I understand, that sometimes people like to see other people naked. We have these nice little places that people can go to like Danielle's Dungeon (an eye-catching structure on the edge of Myrtle Beach) and Thee Doll House (right down the street from my house). There, these perverts - I mean people - can enjoy the fleshly splendors that so entice their slithering, black hearts. (Note the sarcasm).

However, because of something called "zoning," some places have different rules than others. Now this is where I get confused, and my mommy and daddy can't help me anymore. On one end of town, the girls are allowed to dance topless. A few blocks away, they're not - unless the patrons bring their own beer. And the difference between topless and not topless is often little more than a round plastic disc about an inch in diameter.

So what I'm not understanding is this: Are these places not in fact adult nightclubs? For instance, is there a ghost of a chance that a 10-year-old child will ever be permitted to pass through the entrance to Danielle's? Would it make a difference if the dancers' [rear-end-exposing] chaps had a mesh covering? Logic tells me that the answer is no.

So why are we so picky? And why is this such a priority for the Horry County Police Department? My point is this: Our laws permit the existence of these establishments.

Let's not kid ourselves about what they're there for. I do understand some prostitution was apprehended during the raid, and I appreciate that. But as for debatably opaque pasties, can we please give it a rest - instead of arrest?

But seriously, [what went] through my mind as I read about the valiant officers who conducted these raids after months of tireless surveillance was this: Who are these brave souls who have selflessly volunteered for such an assignment? And when do they get a break?


(I blogged on 9/1 about this raid of "adult nightclubs" in Myrtle Beach; I'd post the link to the blog entry here, but I can't figure out how the permalinks work in Blogger)

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Thursday, September 09, 2004

How 'bout a little respect for the PRESIDENT

Via tbogg, this snippet from the daily press gaggle:

Q Al Gore is saying today that Cheney's comments on the election are sleazy and despicable and an effort to blackmail voters with fear. That's from Al Gore today -- Al Gore in response to Cheney's comments about another terrorist attack coming. If Kerry is elected -- Al Gore is calling Cheney's comments --

MR. MCCLELLAN: Consider the source.

Q He was Vice President, last I looked


Actually, the last time I looked, Al Gore had just whipped Scotty's boss in the presidential election.

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Freedom jokes

Tonight I went to hear William Kristol debate Michael Waldman at Coastal Carolina University. Maybe I'll blog about it later, maybe not, but for now I'll just say this: I wish I had a dollar for every time Mr. Kristol made some dopey crack about the French. He was in the double digits by the end of the evening.

One French-bashing joke: OK, we can all laugh, making fun of the French is a time-honored universal pastime (except among the French).

Two: Ha ha, that's fine, we expect as much from a supporter of Bush and the Iraq war.

Three: Har. OK.

Four: All right, enough. Time to stop going for the cheap laughs.

Five: GET SOME NEW GODDAMN MATERIAL ALREADY!

It made Mr. Kristol seem, I hate to say it, kind of hack-ish. I would have had perhaps a not unfavorable (as he himself might say) impression of him if not for that.

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Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Was that the "How-dare-you-question-me-I'm-the-commander" stare or the "Gathering-my-thoughts-while-listening-to-My-Pet-Goat" stare?

Bush refused to answer questions from reporters. He simply stared at a reporter who asked if he agreed with Vice President Dick Cheney's assertion that if Democrat John Kerry is elected, ''the danger is that we'll get hit again'' by terrorists.

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Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Girly-men versus men who hit girls

Check out this video of a brave GOP delegate courageously defending himself against a prone female protester who repeatedly assaulted his foot with her rib cage. Maybe this young man should enlist, so he could put his fighting skills to good use. Of course then he'd be facing people who could fight back.

(More on weasel-boy at General JC Christian)

And here's a story about a courageous Christian gentlemen whose fist was assaulted first by a Vietnam veteran for Kerry, then by a female campaign worker for Kerry.

A member of a Christian group has been fired after allegedly punching several veterans marching for presidential candidate John Kerry in Monday's Harvest Festival parade in Windsor, Colo.

Russell Laughlin, 40, of Nunn, was a member of the northern Colorado FamilyLife Marriage Conference and was walking ahead of 175 members of Veterans for Kerry.

According to police, Laughlin was handing out pamphlets for his group while making loud insults about Kerry to the crowd gathered to watch the parade.

After about a mile, the veterans group asked Laughlin to go back to his own group, but he refused and instead stood in front of the Kerry group, refusing to move, according to a Chris Humphries, an Army veteran and Kerry campaign employee.

That's when a fistfight erupted and Laughlin grabbed a veteran by his shirt and started swinging, according to Gary Fedel, a Lakewood, Colo. member of Veterans for Kerry. Humphries said Laughlin then turned around punched her in the mouth.
Police arrested Laughlin on charges of misdemeanor assault.


This part cracked me up:

The FamilyLife Marriage Conference said it dismissed the volunteer, as a result of the melee.

FamilyLife is an organization that holds conferences to bring married couples closer together.


What is the world coming to when a Christian volunteer can't go around punching people's lights out while he hands out his Christian pamphlets?

Let's hear it for these manly men!


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Vote for us or DIE A HORRIBLE FIERY DEATH!

Via Atrios, here's Dick Cheney sinking to a new low:

It's absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice, because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we'll get hit again and we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States.

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Monday, September 06, 2004

Freedom-hating trial lawyers strike again

NTodd wonders how Bush feels about the trial lawyers suing al Qaeda, Saudi Arabia, and various foreign companies on behalf of Cantor Fitzgerald.

It's ironic that the president who sued his way into the White House spends so much time bashing the legal profession. Geez, where's the gratitude?

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Sunday, September 05, 2004

Sheer GENIUS!

Fafnir, Giblets, and the Medium Lobster, aka Fafblog, are back, with brilliant RNC blogging. Just a sample:

The main policy initiative of a second Bush term would be - and Giblets may be reading between the lines a little here - to build a huge government sponsored time machine, use it to travel back to the past, and kill John Kerry before he is even born!


Go read more and be dazzled . . .

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Random hurricane blogging

Carl Hiaasen once said, "There's nothing wrong with South Florida that a category five hurricane wouldn't fix." Shoot, he ought to know better than that - after a hurricane, people always rebuild, and the new stuff is always bigger and uglier than the stuff it replaces. I myself have often wistfully imagined a hurricane coming along, and, with surgical precision, removing from the Grand Strand coastline certain structures that I find aesthetically displeasing, while leaving untouched the old beach cottages, the mom-and-pop motels, and the Swamp Fox roller coaster. But that's just not how hurricanes work.

Speaking of hurricane categories

What is a "category five" hurricane, you may ask? Hurricanes are categorized by strength according to something called the Saffir-Simpson scale; there are five categories. Consult the list below (adapted from this website) for a description of the hurricane categories:

Category 1
Hurricane is accompanied by a 4 to 5 foot storm surge. Winds are 74 to 95 mph and may cause minor roof damage, fallen trees, and Jeb Bush's jowls to jiggle vigorously.

Category 2
Storm surge 6 to 8 feet; winds from 96 mph to 110 mph, causing Jeb's jowls to flap like the ears of a basset hound in a wind tunnel.

Category 3
Storm surge 9 to 12 feet. Winds from 111 mph to 130 mph, causing extensive damage; Tom DeLay's toupee may experience moderate uplift.

Category 4
Storm surge 13 to 18 feet. Winds from 131 mph to 155 mph; damage extreme; roofs will be blown off buildings; Katherine Harris's makeup may partially delaminate.

Category 5
Storm surge higher than 18 feet. Winds greater than 155 mph, causing catastrophic damage and the severe mussing of Katherine Harris's hair.




"As you can see the wind is really picking up . . ."

Roger Ailes on those cliche anchor-on-the-beach-in-the-wind shots. It would be kind of cool, just once, if a well-timed rogue wave . . .

Give me a sign that you approve of my governing, God, just any little sign . . .

Following Charley's deviation from its predicted course a couple of weeks ago, Governor Jeb said God was sending a message:
"God doesn't follow the linear projections of computer models," Bush said outside the emergency management center, whose roof caved in during the hurricane. "This is God's way of telling us that he's almighty and we're mortal."

I wonder what message God is trying to send now, by pummeling Florida relentlessly for two-plus days? Maybe God is trying to tell Jeb to stop intimidating black voters.


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Friday, September 03, 2004

MIA at the RNC

OBL.

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I'll be blogging about my hair from here on out

Via Joshua Marshall, I see James Wolcott has a new blog. He has a terrific monthly column in Vanity Fair that makes one feel a little less sheepish about shelling out for a magazine that regularly features Brad Pitt on the cover.

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The biggest threats to America

The message I got from the RNC is that the biggest threats to America are, in descending order:

John Kerry

Trial lawyers/gay marriage (tie)

Turrists

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Thursday, September 02, 2004

GOP Convention Theme: "Evil Has a Name"

NO, evil's name is not Osama Bin Laden. It's not Abu Musab al Zarqawi. It's not Muqtada Al-Sadr. Its name is JOHN KERRY.

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Wednesday, September 01, 2004

I'll sleep better tonight

Knowing that local strippers are wearing pasties of the legally prescribed size and opacity:

By Phil Watson
The Sun News

About two dozen adult dancers from six clubs will be in court later this month to learn whether they will have to pay the price for their choice of dance attire.
On Aug. 17, Horry County undercover police officers arrested 21 dancers from six Horry County nightclubs on charges that they had violated county ordinance by wearing pasties - adhesive coverings - on their breasts that were either too see-through or too small.

According to Horry County ordinance 526, those pasties are supposed to be opaque enough and large enough to hide what they are supposed to cover.

Undercover officers regularly monitor adult entertainment establishments to make sure they are following county law, Horry County police Sgt. Andy Christenson said.
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The penalty for violating the county ordinance is a fine of $200 or less and no more than 30 days in jail.
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Mark Young of Myrtle Beach was in the Pink Pony the night of the raids. He said about eight uniformed and about six undercover officers handled the raid and would not let anyone come in or leave until it was over.

"It seems like it was a little much for a ... zoning violation," Young said.

The officers did not question Young or other patrons. Young said he wished the police had handled it differently.

"They could have easily said 'change it or else,'" Young said.

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The big tent party

Truly, the GOP is a "big tent." The party embraces all KINDS of bigots: White bigots, black bigots . . .

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RNC to change tone tonight

From negative to MORE negative. They're bringing out Captain Charisma to bash Kerry . . .

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